The spiritual heart: reading and assimilating the writings of a spiritual Master

It has been some 15 years since I started reading daily the writings from the 1800 books of my spiritual Master Sri Chinmoy. I have read some books many times, maybe ten times even, and have memorized quite well a few hundred poems, and songs too.

You have anchored your heart
In the infinite Love of God.
Therefore
You do not have to worry
About anything
In the world of dreams
Or in the world of realities.

Sri Chinmoy, Twenty-Seven Thousand Aspiration-Plants, part 51, Agni Press, 1984

One thing that baffles me is that, when talking to others about spirituality, often I cannot quote Sri Chinmoy. Even the poems which I know by heart will not usually come to mind during conversation, even if I try. It can be frustrating at times, since I think I should be supposed to quote freely from Sri Chinmoy, after reading his works for so many years.

God’s Smile will be available
Only when your attachment-cries
Are nowhere to be seen.

Yet, the unusual matter is that I can and often do quote messages from other spiritual Masters. For example, quite often I have a well memorized and pertinent quote from the Gospel of Jesus Christ to share in spiritual conversation, as well as from books I might be currently reading.

My unparalleled inheritance
From God:
A gratitude-heart
And a surrender-life.

I have often wondered – it is because I do not pay enough attention to Sri Chinmoy’s writings when I read them, is it because I possibly have some connection with other writings too (but then, I do have a special connection with Sri Chinmoy’s), is it because of the simple, plain and direct English that Sri Chinmoy mostly uses for his later works that does not impress so much the sophisticated mind, or still something else?

My Lord Supreme has to visit
A few places this morning.
Therefore
He has left His Fragrance-Smile
In my heart.

Just recently I had what might be an epiphany. Now I don’t remember what the situation was – maybe it was just after giving a talk on meditation, or maybe while reading some of his poems – but I suddenly realized a certain volume of solid truth on the matter. I don’t really quote from my Master, but when talking and answering questions, a certain amount of what I say is somehow or another a kind of unintentional paraphrase of his teachings, often in my own words.

Try hard to obey the unknown.
Otherwise, the Unknowable
Will be extremely strict
With your life.

That is, my conscious mind does not see that the light is there, but it is there. And the likely reason that the mind does not see it is because, since Sri Chinmoy is my spiritual Master – and what a relation that is! – his teachings will naturally take a deeper seat inside my spiritual life than a “quoting philosopher” might be able to use in charming conversation: the seat of the spiritual heart. Naturally, when I read from other spiritual Masters, my mind gets a stronger impression, since other writings, inspiring and divine as they are, are still slightly more alien in philosophy and writing style to it that what my own spiritual Master says or writes.

I have realized that Sri Chinmoy wrote over 1800 books for me. Isn’t it one of the greatest tributes ever? I am totally humbled.

Don’t dream!
Where is the time to dream?
Just become
What God wants you to become.

Just now I returned from my sixth participation in a 10-day running race created by Sri Chinmoy, and his poems seem even more alive than usual to me.

The poems quoted here were selected randomly from Twenty-Seven Thousand Aspiration-Plants, part 51, Agni Press, 1984.